So it’s summer soon in Australia, and we’ve been warned that it’s going to be one of the hottest we’ve endured in the last 50 years (last time the heat-wave reached up like late 40’s and just wow that’s not cool).
We can’t all afford to keep our aircon on all summer so I figured I’d make a little list of ways to keep cool.

  • freeze some coffee in ice trays and make iced coffee or iced tea (nerada have some really good iced tea sachels).

  • freeze juice in ice trays and add it to chilled or mineral water

  • Make mini ice poles with juice (and small bits of fruit if you’re in to that) and halved skewers.

  • Leave small windows open if possible! If flies are a problem, grab a small bag, put a 5c coin in the bottom, fill the bag with water, tie it up and hang it over the window. You might need more than one but the reflections off the coin to the fly’s googly eyes will make them think there’s movement nearby and they’ll find someone else to vomit on.
    Alternatively if you have a spare $26 this bug mesh is pretty useful.

  • You’ll want to keep larger windows closed, including curtains and blinds if you have them. Those useful bastards will help stop the sun reflecting off the glass.

  • Fans are more effective when placed near open windows, as it will circulate the fresh air and that’s what you want. You’ll want to open the windows that are furthest from the sun. That’s pretty much your living spot for the next four months.

  • Turn fans off if you’re not near them. Unless they are placed in front of small windows facing away from the sun, or if they’re bring used in a little DIY aircon thing, fans are actually just blowing around the air in the room. A lot of that is hot air, and it’s not going to do anything but rack up your bills.

  • You can make cool lil DIY aircon things by freezing salt water in a metal bowl (until it’s an ice block) and have it sit directly in front of a fan. 

  • If you have incandescent light bulbs in your house, get rid of them. They are not your friends for the next few months. Or just don’t turn them on unless you really need them, w/e works for you. 
  • Eat as much fruit and vegetables as possible! If you are unable to get fresh fruit, get it frozen as you can either defrost it or blend it with ice.

  • Avoid food that you need to cook as much as possible. Sometimes that can be pretty hard on a fixed budget, but if you’re able to get some cold food going then I advise you do that. You do actually make friends with salad.

  • DRINK YOUR FRACKIN’ WATER! 2L a day. Your body will be sweating an uncontrollable amount and will be losing a great deal in the process. Y’all are gonna need to stock your little body sock up on as much water as possible. 

  • Fill a spray bottle up with water and spray that sucker on the back of your neck, and your arms and anywhere else you want it. 

  • Spray bottles work 123871297x better if you sit in front of a fan and spray yourself, or if there’s a breeze outside. Science. 

  • Cold baths. Take a book or some nice little ice tray snacks and soak in there until you look about 100 years older. 

  • Keep the water from your bath of the ancients and fill buckets with it to soak your feet in. If they still resemble feet afterwards, you’ve done it wrong.

  • Put small pillows in the freezer for an hour or two before you go to bed (put a plastic bag under it to prevent your bed from soaking up the moisture).

  • Take another glass or 2 of water to bed with you.

  • Hang your bed sheets in the coolest place in the house. They’re okay to hang there all day until you go to bed.

  • Sleep naked. If you can chill all day naked as well, even better. You’ve all dealt with this crap every year so you all know how to dress.

This has been a PSA on how to stay cool this summer, please feel free to add or correct anything.